garcon!
Got a funny little phone call a couple of weeks ago.
I came into work on a Tuesday morning following a Monday off. Nice.
The previous week I'd been at a seminar, out all week. I'd checked my messages through Thursday, my normal working week, and then left them alone.
Anywho, I came into work on that Tuesday back to work, looked grudgingly at the phone and decided, What the hell. So I went ahead and checked my messages. Normal stuff, nothing new, then suddenly, a message from someone I wouldn't know if I crashed into her on the street. Someone named Lucinda Moreno. Calling from Country Club school in my district. I don't work at Country Club school. I work at Second Cousins school, down the street. I also work at Country Club Jr. school (which is only the primary grades and feeds into Country Club school), but I have never worked at Country Club school, and though I may have had aspirations at an earlier point in my career, I don't particularly like the current principal at Country Club school and I am just fine thankyouverymuch at Second Cousins school. Anyway, apparently Ms. Moreno at Country Club school has a student who just entered her classroom. And apparently, this student used to attend Second Cousins school. This student is in kindergarten. In fact, this is already his fifth kindergarten this year, meaning he stays about a month at any place before his family moves him on. Poor kid. Anyway, this is how her message went,
"Hello, this is Lucinda Moreno at Country Club school. I have a student, Little Johnny Not Fitting into my Class, and he used to attend Second Cousins school. You observed him when he was there. I'm going to need you to come over to Country Club school and get me that diagnosis now. Please let me know when you will be able to do that."
I was gobsmacked.
In fact, I still am.
And lest you think I'm just an unhelpful cretin, let's dissect my perspective on this message. First, even though I do not work at Country Club school, I'm more than happy to answer any question that may arise at Country Club school on many many topics--a child I've worked with, a topic I've inserviced on, a policy or procedure I've helped put into place. However, Country Club school has it's own school psychologist who is quite competent and able to get her "that diagnosis" she seeks. If it exists.
However, that's one of the issues I have with it. So maybe this student is quirky. Well, he's definitely quirky, that's not particularly open to debate. But the more burning question for me in terms of diagnosing him is, "Why?" Can he function in the classroom? I'm not sure. He's been to five schools already in this, his inaugural year of school. I'm thinkin' Little Johnny may have more pressing issues--like stability--that are impacting his ability to be not quirky in any situation. When I saw Johnny, he needed some space. He needed to be sitting in back of his peers where he could do a little floor rolling when necessary so that he could once again pay attention. By sitting at the back, he can do this with minimal impact on his neighbors...note, it is difficult to floor roll when you have peers on all sides of you. You are bound to accidentally kick somebody in the face...Also, Johnny apparently has bowel and bladder control (seriously, when you work primarily with moderately retarded preschool and kinder aged students, this becomes a really big deal to you in terms of peer comparison) and fairly age appropriate language skills (see last aside). And this is, after all, kindergarten! I mean, for heaven's sakes, I ate paste throughout kindergarten!
Yeah yeah, the standards and all that. I'm NCLBed up to my eyeballs and I quite frankly don't really give a rat's ass because we all know who Georgie really wants to succeed and it ain't the population in my district!
So anyway, I question how much Johnny really needs to learn this year, other than don't pick your nose in public...always pee in the bathroom and then wash your hands, preferably with soap...don't hit or kick other people. If he learns a little reading and math, that would be nice too.
A third issue for me is that we have procedures in place for this type of issue. I spent more than a year drafting these procedures and when used correctly, I think they work. I could point to ten cases off the top of my head where it has all worked as it should. I can point to a current one--teacher at Second Cousin School asked me to come in and observe her kindergarten student. I went in and said, Oh yeah, you've got a point there. We're getting that diagnosis for them (different diagnosis, same principle, same grade). I think Ms. Moreno needs to start following those procedures.
Lastly, I don't think I have ever been more condescendingly summoned in my life. Worse than that, poor little Johnny, who has no chance of fitting in and succeeding EVER since he's already needing a "diagnosis." Actually, he probably really could have one, and I think I know what it is, but still, at least work with the kid a bit!
As politely as I could, I returned Lucinda's call and said, "Hi Lucinda. I received your message about Little Johnny Not Fitting into my Class. I observe lots of kids at Second Cousins school, and while I think I know who you're referring to, without more contextual information, I couldn't possibly make any recommendation (note; this was kind of true. Even though I was pretty sure I knew who she was referring to, I couldn't exactly remember Johnny's name at that precise moment). I don't work at your school, I only work at Second Cousins school. Thus, I won't be able to accommodate your request. You have your own psychologist, Morris, at Country Club school, here is his name, and I think he's there on Tuesdays. Maybe you can discuss Johnny with him today. Good luck!"
I did let Morris know about the message when I saw him later that week. He kind of guffawed at me about it all, shaking his head knowingly. I feel kind of sad for Little Johnny of course, but I'm sure Morris will ultimately take care of it all for him. He has a soft spot for the little guys. And I get kind of a smug, self-satisfaction thinking about Ms. Moreno getting my voicemail. 'Cause I imagine when she left that one for me, she had a kind of a slapping-your-hands-together-like-you're-brushing-off-flour-dust smug little There! That takes care of that little mess! thing going on. Passive aggressive I know. But hey, I paid a ton of cash to learn just how that works and sometimes, dammit, I just want to use it!
I came into work on a Tuesday morning following a Monday off. Nice.
The previous week I'd been at a seminar, out all week. I'd checked my messages through Thursday, my normal working week, and then left them alone.
Anywho, I came into work on that Tuesday back to work, looked grudgingly at the phone and decided, What the hell. So I went ahead and checked my messages. Normal stuff, nothing new, then suddenly, a message from someone I wouldn't know if I crashed into her on the street. Someone named Lucinda Moreno. Calling from Country Club school in my district. I don't work at Country Club school. I work at Second Cousins school, down the street. I also work at Country Club Jr. school (which is only the primary grades and feeds into Country Club school), but I have never worked at Country Club school, and though I may have had aspirations at an earlier point in my career, I don't particularly like the current principal at Country Club school and I am just fine thankyouverymuch at Second Cousins school. Anyway, apparently Ms. Moreno at Country Club school has a student who just entered her classroom. And apparently, this student used to attend Second Cousins school. This student is in kindergarten. In fact, this is already his fifth kindergarten this year, meaning he stays about a month at any place before his family moves him on. Poor kid. Anyway, this is how her message went,
"Hello, this is Lucinda Moreno at Country Club school. I have a student, Little Johnny Not Fitting into my Class, and he used to attend Second Cousins school. You observed him when he was there. I'm going to need you to come over to Country Club school and get me that diagnosis now. Please let me know when you will be able to do that."
I was gobsmacked.
In fact, I still am.
And lest you think I'm just an unhelpful cretin, let's dissect my perspective on this message. First, even though I do not work at Country Club school, I'm more than happy to answer any question that may arise at Country Club school on many many topics--a child I've worked with, a topic I've inserviced on, a policy or procedure I've helped put into place. However, Country Club school has it's own school psychologist who is quite competent and able to get her "that diagnosis" she seeks. If it exists.
However, that's one of the issues I have with it. So maybe this student is quirky. Well, he's definitely quirky, that's not particularly open to debate. But the more burning question for me in terms of diagnosing him is, "Why?" Can he function in the classroom? I'm not sure. He's been to five schools already in this, his inaugural year of school. I'm thinkin' Little Johnny may have more pressing issues--like stability--that are impacting his ability to be not quirky in any situation. When I saw Johnny, he needed some space. He needed to be sitting in back of his peers where he could do a little floor rolling when necessary so that he could once again pay attention. By sitting at the back, he can do this with minimal impact on his neighbors...note, it is difficult to floor roll when you have peers on all sides of you. You are bound to accidentally kick somebody in the face...Also, Johnny apparently has bowel and bladder control (seriously, when you work primarily with moderately retarded preschool and kinder aged students, this becomes a really big deal to you in terms of peer comparison) and fairly age appropriate language skills (see last aside). And this is, after all, kindergarten! I mean, for heaven's sakes, I ate paste throughout kindergarten!
Yeah yeah, the standards and all that. I'm NCLBed up to my eyeballs and I quite frankly don't really give a rat's ass because we all know who Georgie really wants to succeed and it ain't the population in my district!
So anyway, I question how much Johnny really needs to learn this year, other than don't pick your nose in public...always pee in the bathroom and then wash your hands, preferably with soap...don't hit or kick other people. If he learns a little reading and math, that would be nice too.
A third issue for me is that we have procedures in place for this type of issue. I spent more than a year drafting these procedures and when used correctly, I think they work. I could point to ten cases off the top of my head where it has all worked as it should. I can point to a current one--teacher at Second Cousin School asked me to come in and observe her kindergarten student. I went in and said, Oh yeah, you've got a point there. We're getting that diagnosis for them (different diagnosis, same principle, same grade). I think Ms. Moreno needs to start following those procedures.
Lastly, I don't think I have ever been more condescendingly summoned in my life. Worse than that, poor little Johnny, who has no chance of fitting in and succeeding EVER since he's already needing a "diagnosis." Actually, he probably really could have one, and I think I know what it is, but still, at least work with the kid a bit!
As politely as I could, I returned Lucinda's call and said, "Hi Lucinda. I received your message about Little Johnny Not Fitting into my Class. I observe lots of kids at Second Cousins school, and while I think I know who you're referring to, without more contextual information, I couldn't possibly make any recommendation (note; this was kind of true. Even though I was pretty sure I knew who she was referring to, I couldn't exactly remember Johnny's name at that precise moment). I don't work at your school, I only work at Second Cousins school. Thus, I won't be able to accommodate your request. You have your own psychologist, Morris, at Country Club school, here is his name, and I think he's there on Tuesdays. Maybe you can discuss Johnny with him today. Good luck!"
I did let Morris know about the message when I saw him later that week. He kind of guffawed at me about it all, shaking his head knowingly. I feel kind of sad for Little Johnny of course, but I'm sure Morris will ultimately take care of it all for him. He has a soft spot for the little guys. And I get kind of a smug, self-satisfaction thinking about Ms. Moreno getting my voicemail. 'Cause I imagine when she left that one for me, she had a kind of a slapping-your-hands-together-like-you're-brushing-off-flour-dust smug little There! That takes care of that little mess! thing going on. Passive aggressive I know. But hey, I paid a ton of cash to learn just how that works and sometimes, dammit, I just want to use it!
posted by LB @ 8:27 PM
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